You know, from a selfish standpoint, white people should let go of their racist fragility because having an ego that is wounded every time whiteness is criticized is just *exhausting*. Why do you even want to live like that?
It's interesting, as I read this book, with a lifetime of anti-racist activism behind me, it still created within me an active mental disturbance trying to figure out the answer to your question as the specifics of fragility were being discussed.
and here I am, someone who thinks it's *essential* to confront that fragility, and racism as a whole. The book is subtitled "why it's so hard for white people to talk about racism"
As a white person... honestly, i think it's because it's not constant. A lot of us have spent and currently do spend most of our time around other white people so (prior to the past couple of months, at least) we don't get our whiteness criticised all that often, really. Which means we're not constantly defending our fragile egos, AND we often have most of the people around us willing to back us (even if we're in the wrong)
Just my 2 cents
Generalist Hometown instance with a strong focus on community standards. No TERF, no SWERF, no Nazi, no Centrist.