This freelance thing, especially as someone just starting out, really feels like being lost in the forest. You know you got skills, but you don't know how much your skills are worth. You don't always know how to move forward. When you get a client it feels fantastic, but after the project is done, you're wondering when the next project will come along...

heavy 

I feel inherently doomed to mediocrity and failure. Like no matter how smart and hardworking I am, I am only capable (worthy?) of the bare minimum.

How in the world did this thought, this feeling, get inside of me? How has it lasted so long without me questioning it?

Read a sample of a book on advice for freelancers, and within the first two or three pages the author suggested outsourcing contracts to cheaper freelancers and practicing your craft while you make money off of their labor. I was totally disgusted.

I want to be a freelancer, not a slave driver.

Two cups of coffee vs a mild depression, and all I got is bursting energy and a profound need to avoid using it.

SAM boosted

Everything should work now. Come back:

twitch.tv/maloki

(Boosts are welcome, because borks)

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Had a rough day. Think I've been pushing myself on the productivity front too much recently. Even though I'm glad for the time (summer vacation) and for figuring out my best personal workflow, I gotta ease up a little bit and not expect myself to be designing, coding, writing, working out, studying Japanese, and keeping a relationship afloat 24/7 without a break.

SAM boosted

Tik tok should probably be deleted.

According to the FCC TikTok is said to collect “everything”, from search and browsing histories; keystroke patterns; biometric identifiers—including faceprints, something that might be used in “unrelated facial recognition technology”, and voiceprints—location data; draft messages; metadata; and data stored on the clipboard, including text, images, and videos.

... It's really possibly to physically exhaust yourself with cognitively demanding work, isn't it?

My friend in the States tried to give me the hookup vis a vis hiring on new designers to deal with the growing company's growing needs. I was unceremoniously rejected after one project, no notes, no discussion. (My friend told me afterwards that the company's long-time resident designer didn't want new blood to push her out, so she was making a fuss.)

Now: my friend, being a friend, reached out to me one more time for a voiceover project. This time, despite not being a voiceover actor at all, for whatever reason one of the characters in a certain presentation was a Black man. And none of her other coworkers knew any Black men.

So I used my shiny new mic, recorded a few lines, sent them in. My friend tells me the boss was so pleased with my work that they might contact me again in the future for other voice stuff.

I'm delighted. The universe works in mysterious ways...

What was your favorite game/video game as a kid?

I went down to the Immigration Office to get my new residence card today. I thought it would take hours (it did last time). But because I went towards closing time, it was actually a breeze.

Three more years. Hopefully in that time I'll have become fulltime freelance.

Seems like a general rule of the internet that smaller, leaner products and services maintain their dignity and customer satisfaction than bigger brands. Do you have any hidden gem apps or websites you'd like to share?

I've got a novel in me. At least a trilogy. If money weren't an issue, I'd already be too famous to attach my photo to my online profiles. /alas

I've been using Elementor for a while, but have been getting frustrated by bugs that go without fixes for years and years. Starting to ponder Oxygen and feeling excited about web design again 😍😍😍

dysfunction in romantic and parent/child relationships 

"You will become your parents."
"You will be attracted to people who remind you of your parents."

These things *sound* ridiculous, but I've spent the last three or so years investigating why I keep ending up with narcissistic women, and it's because these things are true.

My dad wasn't in the picture growing up, so I got to sort of figure out manhood all on my own, but I keep ending up with women who resort to anger or the threat of their displeasure as a first line of defense (or offense). And nearly all of them have overbearing, angry mothers.

I really wish I could tell people to make sure they're emotionally prepared to have children, because I've seen it with my own eyes how they pass on a legacy of dysfunction when they're not.

What creative projects are you working on?

SAM boosted

asking for HTML and CSS learning recommendations 

What it says in the title: Have you got any recommendations for free and courses, tutorials, and the like? Book titles are also welcome.

I would be looking for something aimed at beginners, but if it guides the learner through more advanced topics as well, that would be ideal

:boost_ok:

One of the weird things about being a cishet male is how difficult it is for your male friends to just... *say* how they're feeling. I've got at least three friends who could be getting eaten alive by a shark and still they'd be like 'oh yeah everything's cool bro, how're you?'

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Rage.love

Generalist Hometown instance with a strong focus on community standards. No TERF, no SWERF, no Nazi, no Centrist.