, "begging" meta 

Okay so the "no begging" rule is obviously awful on its face but what gets to me is how ineffectual it is even for its own horrible aims. Like, if considers asking for monetary help to be an eyesore, not allowing original posts on the instance is just grossly inadequate to enforce such a rule. Is boosting begposts also prohibited? Are they going to defederate with instances that don't have the same heartless rule?

And this is before even going into the mindblowing incompetence of adding that it's okay to give people the option to donate, like I am still enough of a lawyer to be actively mad at the confusion and contradiction this causes.

When poor people ask for money it's "begging." When rich people ask for money it's "fundraising."


It's disgusting that upper-and-middle-class people who run charities supposedly for poor and marginalized people give themselves cushy salaries and are considered respectable members of the elite, while poor people who ask for money for themselves are considered nuisances deserving of hostility and harassment. That's a straight-up a denial of poor people's agency and expertise over their own lives, the disbelief that they are capable of knowing their own needs. Fuck that noise. meta/drama. Lol? 

Admin of the instance: Why didn't anyone reach out to meeee I am so hurrrrt 😭
Also admin of the instance:

@nathan Gosh my mind-reading glasses are broken today and it sure looks like the rule bans solicitation for donations. You could have explained what you meant and changed it, but instead you blame people who regularly ask for donations on here for misunderstanding (and are regularly met with hostility and mockery for it) and then hide behind "I was poor and I give to poor people?"

If anything your response confirms that people including me were right not to reach out first, because what's the point if your interest is not in the harm you did, intentionally or not, but in your hurt feelings and reputation?

@nathan @ljwrites this is escalated and fresh, so I get it if ppl don't want to get productive.

But it seems a shame, because looking at rules, the instance seems to be a mostly good place.

I wonder if there is a compromise, like people asking for money (whatever the reason) should use CW's or a hashtag?

I think both 'sides' can understand the other, if they want to.

@douginamug In my mind requiring a CW or hashtag is hostile to people who ask for money, too. It's great if they do so voluntarily, and many do, but that's their choice and controlling what they do via instance rules is shitty when filters, mutes, and blocks are all available, as is turning off boosts.

It's also not like I'm a stakeholder here, as I am not a .lol user and am not interested in dictating another instance's rules. But people who regularly make posts asking for help have made it clear this rule as worded (however it was intended) adds to the general atmosphere of hostility they face. That's what I was commenting on. It was the admin's choice how to react to that, and clearly they chose to make it about their feelings and reputation while denying any harm, very DARVO stuff. That tells me all I need to know and I'm not interested in a compromise or conciliation.

@ljwrites idea of hashtag was just to have a standard term to filter... I guess this is details.

I didn't see the original case, and lack context. It seems like Nathan is looking into it if you check that thread they linked above.

So I'll just bow out for now.

@mawr I tried to be reasonable to the person who attacked me and they doubled down and continued to do so. I don't take shit from people. Read my replies to everyone else, I explained everything in detail.

Causing drama and attacking someone is "not cool".

The two other people who were causing drama apologized after I explained and they admitted their way about it was wrong.

Believe what you like, I'm done. meta/drama. Lol? 

@ljwrites wow, do I need to instance ban this? meta/drama. Lol? 

@zens it's looking like a better and better option, frankly... meta/drama. Lol? 

@ljwrites like not a calm professional “i disagree for x y and z reasons , i respect your opinions but our instance will keep this policy” but a straight up slap in the face insult- doesn’t bode well for their conflict resolution skills in general , as a moderator meta/drama. Lol? 

@ljwrites Okay I looked up the policy and well, not that i'd consider joining an instance called "" (that gives me a bad vibe out the gate)

"No begging for money (giving people the option to donate is totally fine)"

I don't think you're mischaracterising this rule- It is genuinely hard to understand what this means. So it's strange to complain about other people "misunderstanding" this rule. how can you not? meta/drama. Lol? 

@zens Yeah if multiple people who speak the language the message is in, including people who regularly make begposts, share the same understanding of it then at the very least it's been badly misworded. Malice or intent doesn't really come into it.

But nooo that's not the issue here, the issue must be that the admin's feelings were hurt because someone dared cast aspersions on their pure character! That's the part that concerns me the most, not that they were inadvertently hurtful (which everyone has been at some point, it happens!) but that they deny the harm and attack the people who criticize the impact of their action. meta/drama. Lol? 

@zens @ljwrites that’s what sold me on leaving. Like after the post last night I thought maybe I should message the admin to give them a chance to fix this, but after that response I’m done. meta/drama. Lol? 

@politemenace @zens ugh yeah. I hope you find a better instance for yourself :( meta/drama. Lol? 

@ljwrites I feel like there were a number of ways they could have responded that would stop this sudden interest in mass banning their instance and this is not one of them meta/drama. Lol? 

@nisima interesting how people show who they are huh 😬 meta/drama. Lol? 

@ljwrites 😬 🤦🏻‍♂️

re: meta/drama. Lol? 

@ljwrites love to wake up and this is the FIRST thing i see

there were plenty of ways to not be a fucking chode about this and they decided to be a chode about it


re: meta/drama. Lol? 

@melaniemoo me watching them do this entirely to themself: 😎

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Generalist Hometown instance with a strong focus on community standards. No TERF, no SWERF, no Nazi, no Centrist.