coming out-related rant 

I really hate this idea that queer people should come out if they can safely do so, or that coming out is the ultimate in queer self-realization or necessary for it. Maybe some of us find that kind of confessional self-disclosure distasteful, for cultural or personal reasons? Maybe we just want to *be*, and not have to mark ourselves as "other" to a socially constructed and violently enforced straight default?


Here's an idea: Maybe instead of queer people having to disclose details of our gender and sexuality, cishets (and other queer esp. cis people) can get a clue and accept how their friends and family are without questions, prying, or labels. The idea that cis/het people have to be spoon-fed and catered to at the expense of queer, esp. trans, people's peace of mind and privacy doesn't sit well with me at all. Maybe cis/het people can fucking grow up and learn on their own, and just let queer/trans people exist comfortably. Wouldn't that be nice?

@ljwrites yes, it would be very nice if they stopped making such a big deal about what gets them off and making sure the rest of society knows it. today's society is more enlightened than we're being led to believe. most people subscribe to the "live and let live" philosophy as long as others aren't overly gregarious about letting the world know their preferences. there's too much focus on sexuality and baser instincts in todays society, at the expense of more meaningful interactions

@black6 that... was not remotely what I'm talking about. I am not against anyone coming out, I'm against the *pressure* to do so to people who have no taste for it.

And if you don't apply the same standards to straight people being open about their sexual/romantic preferences, like talking about their spouses, wearing wedding rings etc., or believe talking about queerness is somehow inherently more sexual and "baser" than straightness then you're just being a garden-variety homophobe.

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