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Just wanted to say that I admire and love people who openly ask for mutual aid. You are taking care of yourself and your loved ones by admitting you need help and asking for it in a culture that heavily shames and discourages it, and you honor people with your trust in their goodwill.

The truth is that *no one* can live alone and some people are just luckier than others, for personal, structural and historical reasons, in getting their help from the sources sanctioned under private property and capitalism. Self-sufficiency is a myth, and a toxic one that is both hypocritical in favor of privilege and actively hostile to the lives of poor and marginalized people. Don't fall for it.

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@ljwrites (if I may add :'j )

also something to not fall for in culture: thinking that being self-sufficient makes someone better in any way in the first place, even if it was possible!

@codepuppy yeah although too often what people call self-sufficiency is actually privilege, like getting a pricey education with their family's support, starting a business with a small million-dollar loan from their dad and whatnot.

@ljwrites "I stand all on my own!"

[camera zooms out]

[they're tiny and standing on the shoulder of a pyramid of giants]

XD

@codepuppy and we should! We build on what came before and lean on each other, and there's little to be gained from rugged individualism. But there's a culture that refuses to acknowledge past and current interdependencies and continuation, especially because then they'd also have to acknowledge the exploitations and crimes that gave rise to and maintain their current advantages. The romance of self-sufficiency is dishonest and ahistorical, at social and personal levels.

@ljwrites Yeaaaa!

And yes my families are the physical manifestation of that on both political sides x"D

uspol - health care 

@ljwrites @spacekookie
Right! This is the whole reason why health care should be a human right! It’s inevitable that you will need some medical care at some point in your life, and everyone benefits from living in a society in which everyone is insured. :]

Somehow reason people get that concept when it comes to car insurance (at least in MA), but many many others in the US don’t seem to understand it when we’re talking about our own flawed and fragile human bodies.

As the old saying goes, “No man is an island”.

@ljwrites this is silly, but your words really resonate with me right now and i wish they would have been read by my younger self

i remember running away from my parents home and my country seeking this "western ideal and dream" of independence and self-sufficiency
trying to become and be the man who didn't need to ask to anyone

i'm currently analysing many of the mental processes that brought me here and now in an attempt to find the "fatal errors" and unlearning them

also, looking for a language which would promote interdependence over independence, but failing in the attempt so far😆
the people i encountered so fa discussing the theme don't really seem to follow a great trajectory

@mms yeah, I went through a similar period, too, and it's not bad to seek to be in a place where you don't need help and can help others! It can be harmful, however, if that leads you to ignore the help and advantages you had as an excuse not to empathize with those in need of it, or become ashamed of asking for help yourself.

@ljwrites definitely
that's were i was
unable to ask for or accept help
so, yeah, i'm finally in the process of unlearning
that as well as many other things
amen to that :QueerCatHeart:

and thank you for sharing

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Rage.love

Generalist Hometown instance with a strong focus on community standards. No TERF, no SWERF, no Nazi, no Centrist.