L.J. is ⬇️⬇️⤴️⤴️ @ljwrites@rage.love

New instance, new #introduction! I'm L.J., I love #history, #etymology & #writing and post a lot about #Linux & #Vim these days. My interests are all over the place though, and the #ADHD probably doesn't help. So happy to be here and thanks to the r.l. mods for letting me join 💜

Too upset and busy to eat -> Not eating makes me more upset -> Repeat

Why do the last 13 entries feel harder than the preceding 380? Fuck I'll never forgive my client for pushing me to accept this kind of workload, or myself for rolling over despite protests. I'm just full of hate and skipping lunch probably has something to do with it.

That's not to say the actors involved here are completely helpless, I know they're talking the talk in these official reports and after they get some of that white money they might well make positive change with it, undoing some of the damage (a lot of it will be frittered away in corruption, of course, because that's the nature of international aid). The futility I'm feeling is on a systemic level, that maybe we're patching holes here and there by doing financial needs assessment and awareness raising and capacity enhancement and whatnot but as long as the global economic system of incentives go on like they do, the trajectory won't change and we are, at best, putting off the inevitable.

Idk. Maybe I'm overthinking it, it's pretty obvious that huge changes are needed but also that such fundamental changes, enforced too quickly, will cause mass disorder and death. I certainly can't say for sure what those changes should be, and a lot of the people who can say for sure propose terrifying things. Maybe earning time as we figure things out is worth it, but all this perky neoliberal rhetoric just...grates.

A big part of the difficulty I'm having with the current gig is that it's both too much and too boring at the same time, but I also can't ignore the sense of sheer frustration I feel every time I look at one of these mind-numbingly repetitive national reports.

The very same cultures that created and propagated the social and material technologies that are now threatening our survival claim to be the one with the answers to the problems they created; meanwhile, the cultures that were living in more or less environmentally stable ways, and at any rate whose mismanagement never rose to the level of existentially threatening the entirety of humanity and millions of species globally, are now made to follow European technocratic solutions. It's so ass-backwards and obviously futile, and so fucking exhausting to have to read & organize 200 of these, over and over AND OVER knowing it won't solve anything.

Software upgrades are just another way to implement the planned obsolescence of hardware.