dumi @dark_soil@rage.love

"Decolonization demands fearlessness beneath the white supremacist gaze."

#introductions
Hi everyone. I'm a student from the US, trying to figure out how to escape my gender along with my deeply colonized worldview. I'll probably talk about feelings, uspol, what i'm reading, and food.

Finished, at least it was six more hours instead of ten.

I could try to be overtly optimistic but I probably have 6-10 more hours of work for this problem set

problem set

gotta make it to the coffee

time for hot chocolate

So now I know I need to take very detailed notes and comment my code in ways that are good enough for my future self to understand.

It will be helpful anyway, because eventually I'll have to write it up. It might make my code better. And it'll be nice to have very good records because writing down things often helps me think about them in more detail.

Just realized that I have trouble answering questions about specific parts of my work because I was dissociating on-and-off in November and December when I was working on it.

It's kind-of a relief to know because someone would ask me a question about a figure I definitely made that was on my computer and sent to them from my e-mail and I would just have no memory of it at all.

It took me an hour thirty to answer one e-mail

someone sent me an e-mail

hmmm I have a vague feeling of residual embarrassment about something I did or said recently but I can't remember what

at the beginning of the semester I could find help with my problem sets on khan academy, now i have to look halfway through tomes called 'theoretical astrophysics' i was *deceived*

i went on a walk at sunset today, it was cloudy and very windy, the sky was doing a lot of cool art with clouds and light, and i did some stretches while the surprisingly loud sound of rustling trees drowned out my uncomfortable thoughts and it was positively therapeutic

bord

you know when you eat a meal, but then you're hungry again in thirty minutes, but you think, 'naw, that's impossible,' but then the feeling of hunger is still there an hour later, and you realize you're just having a bottomless pit day

for my next trick, i will sleep for a thousand years