One weird trick to get women interested romantically! Incels hate it!


Work on your personal shit. Women can tell when you've learned all your human behavior opinions from some phrenologist you met on the How to Dodge Restraining Orders forums.

the longer version:

"Men need to address skills deficits to meet healthier relationship expectations."

@cobalt This is a great example of how patriarchy backfires and harms men as well. When no one can hold you accountable for your unhealthy behavior, it just becomes ever more harmful until it affects you as well as others.

@samuteki @cobalt Yeah I've been thinking about this too, about how families, schools, and really the social environment at large set so many boys up for failure by not teaching them, and indeed ridiculing, the basics of healthy relationships and responsibility for their lives and emotions.

@ljwrites @samuteki @cobalt

The loneliness of these men is going to be greater than the loneliness of single women because single women know how to have real emotional connections with friends, and that's a skill boys discard during adolescence.

The lack of real emotional connections to friends is, after all, credited with why hetero women can survive the loss of a partner, while hetero men are more likely to die shortly afterwards: The women get support of their friends, men get nothing.

@yam655 @samuteki @cobalt I did notice how many fewer friends men have compared to women and how shallower those friendships often are (being often tied to work, so no longer working might mean the end of their social circles as well). It's been cited as one reason for cis men's shorter lifespans in general and is really rather horrific.

@yam655 @ljwrites @cobalt Many moons ago, I befriended a group of girls online who lived in my state through chat rooms. They were very active on the original, and so I joined the site too. I ended up staying active there the longest of all of us, spending entry after entry, year after year investigating my own emotional world, without knowing I was doing so at first.

I realize it as an incredible advantage now that I'm older. I wish I could get every boy to write a diary.

@samuteki @yam655 @cobalt yup journaling has been found to be beneficial for dealing with adverse life circumstances and emotional difficulties. I guess that must have been you polishing your craft, too, because I've read parts of your blog and you're an amazing writer 💚

@ljwrites @yam655 @cobalt Oh, you! Snuck up on me with the compliment! I'm Black so I can't even tell if I'm blushing!

@samuteki @yam655 @cobalt you, sir, cannot pretend to be ignorant of this--I have seen compliments of your writing up and down the TL and in the comments! *wags finger*

@ljwrites @yam655 @cobalt I guess there's that 😅😅😅 My spirit animal is Ernest Hemmingway from the film Midnight in Paris when I'm actively writing, but I somehow forget all about this thing I can do when I'm not. Maybe if I started looking for freelance writing gigs...

@samuteki @yam655 @cobalt Definitely if there are outlets and gigs that speak to you, I hope you'll pursue them! We have at least one writer on this instance, Mo Martin, who publishes short stories and essays.

@ljwrites @samuteki @yam655 @dark_soil I love this thread and the people in it are good and lovely and I hope you all have something nice happen for you today

@cobalt It started out kinda grim and then became such a group hug of a thread lol

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Generalist Hometown instance with a strong focus on community standards. No TERF, no SWERF, no Nazi, no Centrist.