Normalising cis people changing their name 1/2 

Been given a name at birth should be just that, your birth name, with the idea that as people get older, if they feel another name suits them better, for whatever reason, it’s ok to change it. That caregivers/parents don’t own you and your name. It’s up to you, it’s your identity.

I say this because I believe it, and because yes, I’m cis and I have changed my name, both first and surname*. This was back in 1985, the day after I turned 18 (I couldn’t do it on the day because workmates took me out to lunch). It wasn’t the done thing, but it was incredibly important to me as it was part of me defining my identity that wasn’t based on other people decisions, rules, perceptions etc. And it really helped me forging my own path.

After all, lots of cis women changing their surname upon marriage has been around for some time and no-one is bothered about that. So why should it matter if you change your first and/or surname?

As others have said, it’s ok to change your name. Let’s normalise the shit out of this.

Normalising cis people changing their name 1/2 

@GwenfarsGarden Thank you. (I wish it was easy to do it officially where I live, though. I have to use my wallet name for everything formal.)

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Normalising cis people changing their name 1/2 

@irina I don't know if it was easier back then, or whether some countries do it differently and make it harder. It really should be made easier to do for anyone.

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Normalising cis people changing their name 1/2 

@GwenfarsGarden It's never been easy here (Netherlands); you need a lawyer and an approved reason (other than "this name doesn't fit me, I want another one") and a lot of money.

Normalising cis people changing their name 1/2 

@irina @GwenfarsGarden In the US the legal part is fairly easy and not too expensive. But then you have to take the resulting paperwork to every institution (bank, utility, credit card, driver's license office) and update your records there. Then forever after when asked for a birth certificate you have to also have the name change paperwork to show why your name isn't matching.

Normalising cis people changing their name 1/2 

@edebill @irina @GwenfarsGarden I looked into reverting to my maiden last name once (but still being married) because I made the mistake of hyphenating when I got married and computers do not like that. At the time, I calculated it was going to cost me about $600 and take a ton of my time. I eventually decided it wasn’t worth the effort.

It should be easier to change names! It was super easy to change my name when I got married.

Normalising cis people changing their name 1/2 

@kiesa @edebill @GwenfarsGarden I actually had some trouble changing my name when I got married! I was asked "do you really want to be an extension of your husband instead of keeping your own name?" -- but of course my own name was also a man's name (my father's) because that's how it works, and my married name is a lot easier to spell and (for anyone not Dutch or Frisian) pronounce.

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Rage.love

Generalist Hometown instance with a strong focus on community standards. No TERF, no SWERF, no Nazi, no Centrist.

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